Why Saying No is Important - ExpatJoy

ExpatJoy - Passionate Global Living with Sandra Bissell


Why Saying No is Important

When I say no, I recognize that I’m opening space to say yes to the valuable things in my life.
When I say no, I may feel temporarily bad, but deep inside, I’ve learned that it’s the right thing to do for everyone involved.
My ‘NOs’ are as powerful as my ‘YESES’ because they are my truths.

These are my personal guiding principles developed over the years when the topic is saying no.

Needless to say, it is still hard to say no at times.

For instance, I vividly recall an incident, not long ago, when a close friend, forcefully tried to steer me in supporting his charitable endeavor.

My friend, I will call him Jeff, has a passion for helping disadvantaged children in a community dear to both of us. He believes that his cause is the only way to help these kids. He passionately believes in his cause and knows I can help. On this particular day, he was convinced that I should help.

The only problem was that I didn’t want to assist the community in the same way he wanted.

So, during that sunny Thursday afternoon, while sitting on his front porch, I calmly said ‘NO’ to his financial support request.
I declined to engage in explanations or excuses. I just said no.

My stomach in knots, my palms sweaty, and the feeling of guilt clouding my vision didn’t resemble the tranquility in my voice.

Only later, once inside my car, I was able to breathe deeply and start to feel whole again. As my heartbeat slowed down, and I congratulated myself for sticking to my beliefs, even though it made me feel viscerally uncomfortable.

How easy is it for you to say NO?

I’d love to hear from you.

Hugs, Sandra

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My name is Sandra Bissell.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to live as an expatriate for more than 2 decades.

Some of my passions are people, my family, good conversations, traveling, ethnic food, dancing and Capoeira, an Afro-Brazilian-Martial-Art-Dance.

Originally from the countryside of São Paulo state, in Brazil, I have enjoyed life in Kanagawa and Aichi prefectures, in Japan, Boston and San Diego cities, in the United States, São Paulo, Brazil, as an expatriate in my own country, Zurich – Switzerland and most recently Stamford, Connecticut, back to the United States.

As you may guess, I feel the most comfortable within the international community.
ExpatJoy - Passionate Global Living with Sandra Bissell


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